Plastic: A New Build of Fans

Mumbai.

The 2^nd IPL finalist being decided amid a great run fest, the winners who shall proceed are the Kings XI Punjab. Amid the celebration, the KXIP management realized that the number of fans celebrating the win had suddenly increased.

Also noted by several other people, this statement invoked a lot of verbal violence on social networking sites. The team is yet to announce the official data on where the fans came from, but there are rumors that they were parts of the Mumbai Indians fan club and also the Royal Challengers Bangalore Camp, which were both knocked out by the men in yellow.

The Chennai Super Kings management just shared a single picture in reply to this speculation.

 

Credits: Troll Cricket, Facebook

Other teams have not officially responded, but we have got reports that they too are shocked by the level of plastic fans their team has in the Indian Premier League.

An unnamed official from one of the other teams said that, “We got this fan spike in the eliminator game, but we are quite used to such things happening. We have always noticed this when we play against certain teams, but then who doesn’t like fans.”

There are also reports coming in of people claiming that Raina’s 2^nd fastest 50 in IPL history was fixed.

“It was all done to make the match interesting,” said a couple of new KXIP supporters.

When these people were asked about Sehwag’s century in the first innings of the same game, they began rejoicing and saying that he was the best player, and such an innings by him was long due. ‘Sheer class’ were the words used by the same people.

The Punjab management later revealed that the spike was not caused by fans of other teams, but by the haters of their opposition (Chennai Super Kings). The spokesperson went on to say that Raina’s innings was indeed very good and that even the management was scared of the result when he was playing.

As the night progressed, people began blaming their own teams for changing support. Some said that their team was knocked out so they were cheering for the side which stood opposite to the one they hated.

“My favorite team was knocked out earlier in the tournament even though we possessed various heavyweights. I guess it’s the management! I think Baba Ramdev should take over from the current owners. But yes, we were finalists when we came 2^nd in the 2^nd season on the League. Chennai must come last in the table, because they knocked us out.”

On being told what was said, Baba Ramdev gave us an exclusive take on this.

On seeing this image appear, the Congress and AAP have rushed in to say that this was all facilitated by the new government in Delhi, and that Baba Ramdev must be named in the FIRs of the fixing scandal. The Aam Aadmi Party has already made plans for dharna, while the Congress has made sure that their irresponsible leader has shut down Chota Bheem for some time.

Author’s Note: If you can’t support a team, then there is no point in hating another. Rather support the game, and ensure that the sport played is fair and allows you enjoyment. Sports are for recreation, entertainment and to unite the people in the sport, and not for abusing and blaming international stalwarts who have contributed quite a lot to cricket. Lastly, if your team gets knocked out, then at least do not hate the team which made that happen. They superiority in the game must have been what made sure of their advancement. Again I say, supporting a team isn’t important; it’s the support for a good game of the sport being played which matters.

PS: This post is written just for the sake of entertainment, and does not mean to harm or hurt any religious, political, cultural and plastic IPL sentiments.

Indian Political League

To reduce the competition on the IPL, the BCCI made sure that the ICL was knocked out. Then came the Champion’s League- a faint copy of the football format. How can I not use the word copy when it comes to our nation. The jugaad and the cultures are what we originally have discovered, along with various intellectual stuff, but that’s another matter altogether.

Well well, let me get back on track. The BCCI had received inside information early this year that the IPL was going to get competition, so they brought Srini Mama down, and got a new chief. Then there was the shift to Dubai in order to make people get the interest, then the fixing scandals and what not. Come on now, that’s how you earn!

Sorry to say, nothing worked out. All thanks to the other IPL going on within the nation, and with all the news channels broadcasting it 24/7, I must say that the sports league has failed.

I just mentioned another IPL. Can you guess what I meant by that? Oh yes, I am back to my ways. Even with 10 or so days remaining in the elections, here I am with a report of the case filed by the BCCI on the nation with the reason being intent to copy and impersonate. Well, I wouldn’t blame them! Their well-oiled money machine just started creaking, didn’t it? They need the machine back on track to keep filling their pockets, and there walks in Srini Mama with his hat held low for funds…no wait! It’s full already, so I’d suggest we start taking out some for ourselves.

IPL. The sensation of the nation. There is no main head, or leader who has organized it, but we can say that it is controlled by the head of the team who has won it most times, the Congress!

Now you are really confused, and you’re wondering how the Congress came in here. Well, IPL stands for the Indian Political League.

Dhyan se dekhiye isse! Yehi hai voh jisne dekh ke kaam aur janta ki seva ko khel mein badal diya hai!

 The BCCI has said that the format, including the teams has been copied. They have also said that the controversies have all been made up to attract more attention to them and to flop the Indian Premier League.

The exact list has not been declared to the public, but here is a speculation of what it will be.

Let’s start with the Congress. No need of thought to make the link there. Crystal clear, the Chennai Super Kings has been replaced by the Congress in the Indian Political League. With their stellar performances from the first season, and their band of international players, this side has continued to impress their fans. Reaching the semi-finals in every edition, this side has had its name dampened by various fixing scandals. The knockout blow is delivered by the fact that they have a line which links them clearly to the head and director of the league and that is true also for the Congress, with Sonia Gandhi pulling all the shots across the nation.

The easiest decision to make was for the Aam Aadmi Party. Having problems with the system is the most basic similarity, and this party pays homage to the evicted team, Pune Warriors India. Affecting almost everyone with their wonderful records, this side tried quite hard to succeed, but ended up getting nothing. Their entrance, and their departure caused no one any harm, and nor did anyone care to miss them.

Here’s where research was needed in order to establish the correct linkage, but here it comes.

The BJP are for the Political League as the Rajasthan Royals are for the Premier League. Having won it a long time back, they have been favorites, and they have also been praised for their big heart in bringing out talents like Sanju Samson. Such players are the Gujarats of the BJP, or should I say NaMo. The BJP has also been scalded with the flying mud of corruption and toffees, and so have the double Rs with Kundra being named in the fixing scam initially.

The Shiv Sena being a completely Maharashtrian party, have taken to being the Mumbai Indians. Reigning without a single fear under the rule of the legendary Bal Thackeray, the Mumbai Indians, as the SS, won the last cricket league season. Now with the loss of their leaders (Bal Thackeray for the SS and Sachin Tendulkar for MI), both of them have been brought down on their knees. But yes, their support seems never ending, and they keep slugging on.

What could describe the Royal Challengers Bangalore? Ah yes, the MNS. Having the firepower with Raj Thackeray at the head of the table, the MNS have had quite a lot of brushes with the people, and have gone on only due to the fact that they instill a sense of fear in their opponents. Seeing Raj Thackeray talk with Arnab and Rajdeep made this choice quite easy for me. Other similarities would be that the RCB has great players who can have magnanimous impacts, but they have not managed to leave a mark on the grand prize.

The Kings of Punjab and the SP are what I find quite similar. Winning on the base of outside support, the SP has close allegiance with the Congress, and KXIP has been seen to win only at the hands of Maxwell, Miller and other foreign players. Here the similarities end, as the SP has been covered in controversies, but the Punjab side has yet to be brought under the black curtain.

The BSP seem quite similar to the Kolkata Knight Riders. Having performed some sweeps, the 2 seem similar on records. The KKR has won once, but then have returned to their bad ways from the next moment onwards. With SRK as their leader, the KKR have had loads of ads on television, or we can say public display. The BSP leader, Mayawati has done the same by erecting her statues all throughout her state.

Lastly comes the RJD headed by Lalu Yadav which is the SRH/DC of the Premier League. The Sunrisers were formed due to changed leadership, as was with the RJD. They too have not had a lot of effect on the results, disregarding their win in the second edition.

DD did not strike any chord in my head, so I leave that place blank. You can make your own teams, and can paste them down in the comments section, and we shall discuss at length on it.

To the BCCI and to the political parties I have named, this is just an attempt to make you laugh, and if any case is filed on the matter of lifting from the Indian Premier League, then I am not to be blamed. But yes, do try and laugh your guts out. I’m off, because Bulaava Aaya Hai.