I
don’t usually see movies first day, first show; but when I do, I make sure they’re
epic.
The
Xpose. That too on the day when the BJP, or we can say Mr. Narendra Modi,
xposed the Congress in front of the nation. No no, not another scam, but the
election results. With the repeated say that the oncoming TsuNaMo was mere
speculation, the TsuNaMo came and destroyed the strongholds and swept the open
regions.
So,
two of my favorite topics have come up at the same time, and after a long week
of not writing at all, I’m confused. But well, both the themes are quite the
same, so I’ll mix them and make something up.
Statutory
warning: This review is my own, and I guess seeing the movie takes me to higher
ground. Please do not fall off your seats (do act and fall off on your own if
the humor doesn’t reach you :P).
PS:
You can skip watching it, unless you want to experience the gut-wrenching dialogues.
This review could act as a spoiler by spoiling the already lackluster suspense.
Flashback
mode- as is common with quite a lot of Bollywood films, but his was really
good, and the transition was done well enough. No, really! Himesh isn’t that
bad too, come on!
The
Congress falls off a roof, and the police claims it’s not suicide but murder. Has
to be murder, or else the film wouldn’t be made, would it?
The
shot changes with Rajnath Singh telling Narendra Modi, “Tumhe sirf 1 kaam karna
hoga iss baar. No rally, no voter ka patane ka dose, only Xpose”.
In
the background, Kejriwal stealthily listens and writes this down.
Ujjwal
Nirmal Sheetal! Modi walks onto screen with a lota and his 56 inch chest and
pours water into the Ganga.
 |
| Photo Credits: Faking News |
Cut!
Perfect Shot! Instead of the director saying this, it’s the people of Varanasi
and the nation who cheer and shout this out loud.
Kejriwal
watches and then does the same in the back drop, but no one takes any notice.
Enter
RaGa. There plays the retro beat, and with Modi standing at the top of the
staircase and raising his glass of chaas to him, the young Gandhi begins.
Mummy mere jaisa
yahan koi nahi,
Mujhe pata hai
tu kal soyi nahi,
Sabko pata hai
tujhe lag gaya darr,
Sachi bata de
lag gaya kab.
Ice cream
khayunga, cartoon dekhunga,
Janpath jayunga
Priyanka.
O Amit, O
Smriti, O Sushma, O Rajnath,
Yeh saal jo
bhiiii,
Jo hona hai ho
jaane do.
Then
begin the fights and the Bollywood/Political drama. Some love is spent as the
SP enters with their own song, and as it is Himesh, even the dialogues rhyme at
times. (Well, the serious dialogues were funny enough to transform the renowned
multiplex into a small cinema hall which echoed with shrill laughter and
whistles every time Himesh spoke.)
Back
to the SP!
Everybody,
This is my
story,
This is what I feel
every day,
Har election, I am
alone,
Desh nahi jaane,
Ke mein hun
kaun,
I am secular,
please be mine,
Jo vote tu dede,
Then I’ll be
fine.
Baaton baaton mein
voh kya baat ho gayi,
Congress achanak
se saath ho gayi,
Apni jeet par
BJP ki maat ho jayegi,
Maat ho jayegi.
Labh khule nahi
magar,
Maulana ne kar
diya ishaara,
(Looks to screen
and winks)
Hai apni party
toh awaara.
In
the middle of the songs, there are those dialogues I mentioned. The ones I am
using are a bit censored, but I hope that you have heard the originals in the
trailer.
“Agar tu Modi hai,
toh mein bhi Sonia hun, tere vote bank ko polarize karke hi rahungi.”
Modi
replies: Jo karna hai karlo, par desh bhi
jaanta hai. Mein bhale chote Gujarati ghar mein paida hua, par kaam mein azaadi
dilane vale hi karunga.
The
story moves and comes to the present day. Counting day arrives and as the
numbers start coming in, well you guessed right. Another song, and this time by
NaMo himself.
Vote ko churalu,
Alliance bhi
tudvayu tera mein,
Catch me if you
can Pappu,
Catch me if you
can.
Dil mein nahi
chupaya,
Sabko khulke
bataya,
Kamal dikhta hai
sabko har roz,
Hothon pe mere
aaya abhi,
Samajh gaya mein
bhi,
Haara tu kyunki
scams tere ho gay expose,
Vote ko churaya
meine,
Election jeeta
hai meine,
Run Madamji run
Pappu,
If you can!
As
the Delhi counting is done, the AAP loses its vindictive power and stops
talking (temporarily) of the Ambanis and the Adanis, and submits to the
results. The BJP reacts to them.
BJP:
Jitne tumhare Bharat desh mein seat hai,
utne seat toh humne almost har state mein jeete hai.
The
Congress begins to weep, and as the results are almost sure, they begin singing
‘Dard Dilo Ke’ while looking at all the opposition parties.
The
quick BJP responds instantly.
Jije ka
bawandar,
Toffee ki
zamine,
2G aur 3G bhi
hai,
Aur hai Coalgate
ki duniya,
Iss election
mein tu toh gaya,
Tu toh gaya.
In
all this, the Congress starts blaming the innocent Dr. Manmohan Singh, who did
take some of the limelight due to his quiet attitude.
As the final proceedings of blaming are on, a new party enters as Ravi Kumar
(Himesh Reshamiya) and explains his perfect theory.
The
Congress and AAP had an affair, but then instead of eating into the
anti-Congress vote, the AAP ate the Congress vote, and the Congress slipped. Fall
number 1, but this isn’t the striking blow. Then comes the Modi wave, and the
Congress falls to the ground dead.
As
they all begin to exit, the new comer is cornered by AIADMK and TMC, who demand
an explanation. What for? But it’s always love isn’t it? The new entrant
confesses that he saw the Congress destroyed completely when it heard that
these two parties almost got more votes than them. The love is shared and there
forms a new alliance. They all live happily ever after.
Well,
see The Xpose, and then you shall see the clear picture. Torture- not really. Its
new, it’s a comedy of errors with its fabulous dialogues, but it just messes up
the suspense at the end like all Bollywood movies do. A mention for the role
played by Irrfan Khan as the narrator, and in this Xpose, the role goes to the
media and mainly Rajdeep and Arnab.
Last
word, leave your brains at home, make some time, and enjoy the AC whenever you
feel bored and there is practically nothing important happening on screen.
There I end with the hope that Himesh keeps coming back with such new ways to
make us laugh. I guess he is the true king of Comedy as even he doesn’t realize
that the audience is laughing on his suspense thrillers.
PS:
This is just for entertainment and is not meant to hurt political sentiments or
the feelings of the Himesh fans as well.
