Old Times

I wish it all just vanished in a flash,

An inaudible poof to steer me clear from it all,

Just a blink to wipe my slate clean,

I want to start over with a new book in my hand,

A diary blank from cover to cover, not even a name imprinted,

The pages so crude under my hand,

Only to write a story again, from the beginning,

I want to see the ink trace my name again,

Burning itself into the background, and also into myself,

A soul waiting to be discovered from the depths,

A heart wanting to be found and kept safe,

Yet crouching in the shadows, jumping at every movement,

Each sound pushing the heart beat,

A wary eye peeping out, hoping to be seen,

Only to hide again, only to be caressed out,

Gently led into the light and the happiness waiting to return,

All I want is for the nightmares to fade away,

Just as I lay in your lap, cringing every time your hand touches my skin,

All I want to do is curl up in your arms as the storm calls in,

Just like old times; only that you weren't there then.

Surprises

I see the signs leading me on the way,

I see the lights which will take me all the way,

Shining in the gloom, fighting through the clouds,

The silver lining is not what I seek,

It’s the honey pot at the end of the rainbow,

Stuttering and shivering, the path is rough and dry,

Surfaces breaking off the cliffs, leaving behind crevices,

Niches too small to cling to, handholds just too weak,

I see the clearing just before the horizon,

And there’s you calling out to me,

I hear your voice; I hear my name, a magnet pulling at my heart,

It’s clear as can be, yet the fog blinds me,

Or is it your face; is it your thought,

It’s hard to trudge on as my sight begins to fail,

I don’t know where I’m headed, or is it us,

I want to call out to you; I want to be heard,

I want to be pulled into the crux, just the both of us,

I see your hand vanishing as I blink, just to reappear again,

A mirage or a miracle, it’s as much me or just a blind man,

Repercussions beginning to thunder afar, warning signs,

Thoughts to run on, a face to live on, a voice to breathe on,

It’s a jump too far; my eyes are as much closed as open,

I don’t know where I will end up, the other side, or the bottom,

It’s just a surprise I wouldn’t want to know about.

Prophecies

It’s been a long time since the ink lazed on the pages,

I traced your name the last time, and now it’s almost gone,

Vanishing into thin air, leaving behind no traces,

A bulk of memories trailing behind, dropping back with time,

I’m stopping too, though not for you, but for myself,

I waited for you, I stood by for you, and I held myself back for you,

The nights grew longer and so did the darkness,

The clouds covered all there was, yet no patter of the falling drops,

It was all so easy for you, or so it seemed,

As I slogged on, as I wished for more, as I wanted more,

I should have known you didn’t care,

The rain scribbles on paper, blotting the words,

But not scrubbing them out, till the end of time,

There are so many stories untold, futures coinciding,

Paths meeting, and people too, just like we did,

It was madness to envision the long road ahead,

It was just a prophecy waiting to break through,

It was just a prophecy waiting to tear us apart.

Cast Away

I’m sweating in the sweltering heat,

Even though I’m right under the billowing cooler,

My breathing is heavy and my face is taut,

My eyes are focused yet lost in the maze of questions,

My thoughts are the haze around me,

Blinding in the cacophony of light shuddering around,

I wonder why I cared when even a shred didn’t matter to you,

I wonder why I asked even when you shrugged it all away,

I wonder why I stayed, especially when all you wanted was for me to go away,

You weren’t there when I wanted you; you weren’t there when I needed you,

Not just the prick of the needle but a knife in the back,

Yet I stood my ground against your pushes, I held firm against your shoves,

Until I decided to walk away,

The sun rose the same for me, and time passed as it always did,

All that vanished from my horizon was our mirage,

I kept on going, the ropes of our bond fluttering behind me in the wind,

I didn’t wait for the tug, I didn’t wish for the pull,

I didn’t combat the urge to turn back; it was just as though it wasn’t there,

But I expected it to come, sooner or later,

I wonder why I still care, 'cause it’s still the same for you,

I wonder why I still ask, as your answers are still the same,

I wonder why I came back, and the buzz returns to my ears,

I smile and trudge along, trailing in the shadows behind you,

Waiting for the day when your image shines along with me,

Or for the day when your shadow vanishes, taking me with it,

I’m hoping for a new day, for a hand to wipe away my tears,

For a hand to hold me up when you hurl me into the darkness,

The end is what I would never do to you.