Cast Away

I’m sweating in the sweltering heat,

Even though I’m right under the billowing cooler,

My breathing is heavy and my face is taut,

My eyes are focused yet lost in the maze of questions,

My thoughts are the haze around me,

Blinding in the cacophony of light shuddering around,

I wonder why I cared when even a shred didn’t matter to you,

I wonder why I asked even when you shrugged it all away,

I wonder why I stayed, especially when all you wanted was for me to go away,

You weren’t there when I wanted you; you weren’t there when I needed you,

Not just the prick of the needle but a knife in the back,

Yet I stood my ground against your pushes, I held firm against your shoves,

Until I decided to walk away,

The sun rose the same for me, and time passed as it always did,

All that vanished from my horizon was our mirage,

I kept on going, the ropes of our bond fluttering behind me in the wind,

I didn’t wait for the tug, I didn’t wish for the pull,

I didn’t combat the urge to turn back; it was just as though it wasn’t there,

But I expected it to come, sooner or later,

I wonder why I still care, 'cause it’s still the same for you,

I wonder why I still ask, as your answers are still the same,

I wonder why I came back, and the buzz returns to my ears,

I smile and trudge along, trailing in the shadows behind you,

Waiting for the day when your image shines along with me,

Or for the day when your shadow vanishes, taking me with it,

I’m hoping for a new day, for a hand to wipe away my tears,

For a hand to hold me up when you hurl me into the darkness,

The end is what I would never do to you.