Saturday, May 31, 2014

Plastic: A New Build of Fans


The 2nd IPL finalist being decided amid a great run fest, the winners who shall proceed are the Kings XI Punjab. Amid the celebration, the KXIP management realized that the number of fans celebrating the win had suddenly increased.

Also noted by several other people, this statement invoked a lot of verbal violence on social networking sites. The team is yet to announce the official data on where the fans came from, but there are rumors that they were parts of the Mumbai Indians fan club and also the Royal Challengers Bangalore Camp, which were both knocked out by the men in yellow.

The Chennai Super Kings management just shared a single picture in reply to this speculation.
Credits: Troll Cricket, Facebook
Other teams have not officially responded, but we have got reports that they too are shocked by the level of plastic fans their team has in the Indian Premier League.

An unnamed official from one of the other teams said that, “We got this fan spike in the eliminator game, but we are quite used to such things happening. We have always noticed this when we play against certain teams, but then who doesn’t like fans.”

There are also reports coming in of people claiming that Raina’s 2nd fastest 50 in IPL history was fixed.

“It was all done to make the match interesting,” said a couple of new KXIP supporters.

When these people were asked about Sehwag’s century in the first innings of the same game, they began rejoicing and saying that he was the best player, and such an innings by him was long due. ‘Sheer class’ were the words used by the same people.

The Punjab management later revealed that the spike was not caused by fans of other teams, but by the haters of their opposition (Chennai Super Kings). The spokesperson went on to say that Raina’s innings was indeed very good and that even the management was scared of the result when he was playing.

As the night progressed, people began blaming their own teams for changing support. Some said that their team was knocked out so they were cheering for the side which stood opposite to the one they hated.

“My favorite team was knocked out earlier in the tournament even though we possessed various heavyweights. I guess it’s the management! I think Baba Ramdev should take over from the current owners. But yes, we were finalists when we came 2nd in the 2nd season on the League. Chennai must come last in the table, because they knocked us out.”

On being told what was said, Baba Ramdev gave us an exclusive take on this.

On seeing this image appear, the Congress and AAP have rushed in to say that this was all facilitated by the new government in Delhi, and that Baba Ramdev must be named in the FIRs of the fixing scandal. The Aam Aadmi Party has already made plans for dharna, while the Congress has made sure that their irresponsible leader has shut down Chota Bheem for some time.

Author’s Note: If you can’t support a team, then there is no point in hating another. Rather support the game, and ensure that the sport played is fair and allows you enjoyment. Sports are for recreation, entertainment and to unite the people in the sport, and not for abusing and blaming international stalwarts who have contributed quite a lot to cricket. Lastly, if your team gets knocked out, then at least do not hate the team which made that happen. They superiority in the game must have been what made sure of their advancement. Again I say, supporting a team isn’t important; it’s the support for a good game of the sport being played which matters.

PS: This post is written just for the sake of entertainment, and does not mean to harm or hurt any religious, political, cultural and plastic IPL sentiments.

Friday, May 30, 2014

Happy Birthday

The candles flickered in the cool breeze which came in through the open window. With a look at the gathered throng, of close relatives, she blew the tiny flames and made a cut in the chocolate cake which lay in front of her. With a feigned smile, she nibbled at the pieces offered to her; each one burning a path through to her stomach. Thanking them all, she walked up the stairs and retired to her room.

At 50, Shraddha was a widow who had a couple of daughters, the older of which was soon to be married. It was not even a year since her better half, Akshay, had passed away, but here they were, celebrating her birthday. She still couldn’t understand how her hands had worked with the knife on the cake, and she had even managed to smile.

Tears dripping slowly from her eyes, she settled into her armchair, and her mind wandered to the day 30 years prior.

She sat next to him in the car as he drove silently. Blinking back tears, she looked outside the window and stared at the scenery going past them, and fought down the urge to fight with him. He had forgotten to wish her, on her birthday. He had never forgotten when they were friends, but now that they had crossed the barrier and become more than friends, he did the unthinkable.

“Hey princess, why are you in such a bad mood,” Akshay asked, breaking the silence.

“Nothing Akshay, my head’s aching badly,” Shraddha replied in a forlorn voice.

“Cheer up sweety,” he said, giving her shoulder a squeeze as she grimaced. “Let’s get you some medicines if it’s serious.”

“No, I’ll be fine. Let’s not stop.”

“Okay honey.”

“I wish she likes what’s going to happen as soon as we reach home. It hurts to not wish her on her birthday and that too on the first one we are together on. God, life is tough,” he thought to himself, as he saw her sad face from the corner of his eye.

As they turned into the driveway, she thought, “Why doesn’t he wish me? Have I done some mistake or has he just forgotten? If he doesn’t wish me then I’ll fight with him and remind him. He just can’t forget my birthday like that.”

She got down as soon as the car stopped and with a brief good bye, she began walking towards the door. Akshay got down and looked on as she fumbled with the key, as she always did, and then slowly pushed open the door. Knowing what was about to happen, he began walking towards her.

It all happened in a flash. As soon as Shraddha pushed open the door, the darkness in the room transformed into a sea of light and glimmer. In the background began a Happy Birthday song, and the gathered crowd shouted out loud and came forward to wish her. Her friends, and best friends, and family.

“Now where did this idiot go,” she wondered, her eyes searching for him in the tsunami of people.

There he stood alone in the corner near the door, gazing intently at her, a smile on his face. As she looked at him, he mouthed an apology to her, and she just bowed her head in shame. Here she was, thinking of fighting with him, and reminding him of her birthday, and he had done this for her.

Cutting through the crowd, she went and stood beside him, placing her hand gently in his.

“Happy Birthday princess. I’m so sorry that I didn’t wish you earlier, but then you would have known of this plan. I can’t lie to you, can I?”

“Thank you so much. It’s good that you didn’t wish me. It magnifies the happiness I’m having right now,” she said as she threw her hands around him.

“I love you Shraddha. We’ll spend all your birthdays just like this, grand and beautiful.”

“I love you too, but hey, my gift?”

“What gift? Isn’t this enough?”

Seeing the appalled look on her face, he took her hand and began walking towards the car. There it lay, wrapped in red, her favorite color, and as soon as he unlocked the door, she lunged for it. Tearing the wrapping paper and throwing it on the ground, her eyes dampened as she glimpsed what was inside. He just stood beside her and smiled.

Beside her, the red table clock announced midnight. Breaking her trance, she looked at it, and cradled it like a baby. She remembered the day he had given it to her, and today was the 1st time he hadn’t wished her. Keeping the clock back on the bed stand, she just murmured, “I love you Akshay, I so wish you were here with me.”

A cool wave of air blew through the room and she savored its feel on her skin.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Now and Then...

“Just listen to me once at least! I’m sorry goddamit!”

“Bhavya, what’s left to hear now? It’s all clear, crystal clear.”

“Shweta come on now! Don’t behave like a kid! I told you that I’ve had a bad day, and now you do this?”

“You had a bad day, so now you spoil mine?”

“No sweetheart, it’s not like that.”

“Please Bhavya. I’m going. Don’t stop me. I just need some time alone.”

“Just because my boss doesn’t allow me to return home on my first anniversary, you go away from me. Wow! Too damn good.”

“Bhavya, it’s not going to work. I’m going.”

She banged the door shut behind her and raged off into the darkening night. Her foot on the gas pedal, she raced around the city, finally stopping at her favorite place, the bridge. Parking the car, she got out, and sighed as the scenic view of the city dazzled her eyes and slowly worked on her previous mood. As she leaned onto the railing, her brain wandered back in time to that day, the day he had made her realize how much he loved her.

He banged the door shut as the third chime sounded on the wall facing the door. Throwing his bag onto the already piled up bed, he began picking up the clothes which lay around haphazardly and assembled them in a makeshift heap. Shifting the bag and some of his books on the bed, he lay down, and shook his head in despair as his eyes swept through the room. First the results, and now this, the whole day was going wrong. He couldn’t do anything about the former, but the latter he could change.

“Bhavya, my man, you just did something you shouldn’t have. Just go and correct it all so that the matter doesn’t go any further. Shweta had been right in the first place, and you just shouted her down after not listening to her.”

Referring to the aftermath of the results, which took place in the car outside the university, he meant the shouting match he had had with Shweta, his new girl friend. He hadn’t scored good enough in his subjects, and that had been because he didn’t listen to her.

“Having my study time after football practice was a bad idea in the first place, and I ended up skipping around half of those sessions. Wish I’d just implemented her plan. But after all this, I shouldn’t have shouted at her today morning. Damn my anger,” he said to himself, with a string of swear words.

As his brain looked around for a solution, eye lids took refuge together, and plunged him into a wave of darkness.

His eyes slowly creaked open, and widened steadfastly as they spied the glowing display of the watch.

“Holy cow, I’m going to be late again,” he exclaimed to himself, remembering his meeting with Shweta.

He was the one who had called her, and he hoped to make her understand what was going through his mind. His thoughts had pranced around for a bright idea, but unfortunately, he had come up with none. Dropping his shirt, he quickly changed his clothes and with a brief glance in the mirror, he ran out the door.

Bhavya ran through the night towards his destination, where Shweta would be waiting. About to round the last corner, he saw a florist, and that sight made an idea pop up in his mind.

She still remembered him turn round the corner with the flowers held in his hand. She breathed deeply and turned to the spot where she was standing on that day. She still remembered his words, and they echoed to him as she pulled out her mobile phone and texted him to come where she was standing. He had commitments at work, and she would have to accept it, rather than making a mountain of it.

She drove off to get what she wanted, the taillights of her car glimmering in the darkness of the night.

He nursed the drink in his hand as he read her message. Expecting the worse, he shook his head, and got ready to walk to the bridge, avoiding the car and further luck problems. Tracing the path he had taken on the day of their first fight, he walked past the florist, and round the corner onto the bridge.

There she stood, beautiful as ever, facing away from him. His head bowed low, he shuffled to her, and then cleared his throat. She turned to face him, a smiling hanging precariously on her face. Clearly surprised by this, he walked a step back and began, “I’m sorry Shweta. I don’t do all this purposely, but it just happens. I just want you happy, and I try to do that always. Things go wrong in between, and it all gets spoiled. I’m sorry.”

“I know Bhavya. It’s fine honey. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.”

“No! It’s not your fault Shweta.”

“Hush, let me complete. Don’t interrupt me, okay?”

He just nodded as she continued, “You were right, and I know that I should have understood your point before removing all my anger on you. We could have gone out later too, but then anger clouded my vision. There are some necessities in life, and we can’t just skip them in order to get what we want.”

“You remember it all…”

“Bhavya, it’s our first anniversary today. But let’s take it as a lesson, and make sure we never do this again. This fight lasted us some hours, so let’s make sure that this is the longest fight forever between us.”

“We shall make sure. I love you Shweta.”

“I love you too Bhavya.”

Reaching into the car, she pulled out a bouquet of purple orchids and roses, it was just a mirror image of what had happened in her flashback. As he came to her and enveloped her in his arms, she murmured to him, “Happy Anniversary Bhavya. I love you.”

“I wish you the same sweetheart.”

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Pitter Patter

Pitter patter,
Pitter patter,
There I fall to the ground,
A few drops at first,
And then a cloud burst,
Yeah, I am Earth bound.

Rumble groan,
Rumble groan,
They collide and bring darkness,
Few flashes,
Yet many clashes,
It’s a war succeeded by freshness.

Splish splash,
Splish splash,
Puddles dance with the feet,
Tiny footballers enter,
While their mother’s deter,
It’s time to beat the heat.

Whiz whoosh,
Whiz whoosh,
My friend blows me kisses,
Trees dance,
In the pressured trance,
As the wind just hisses.

Boom thud,
Boom thud,
The battle goes on,
The sun tries to shine,
Though the sky is now mine,
And someone is thus born.

Aww wow,
Aww wow,
He takes centre stage,
7 coming together,
Its new altogether,
Vivid it is and not dull beige.

Chirp chirp,
Chirp chirp,
Birds cry out loud,
I walk away,
As the trees minutely sway,
And my friends look at me- proud.

Sniff sniff,
Sniff sniff,
It’s the fragrance of wet soil,
Also the bacteria at work,
To give a cough, and a jerk,
Drinking water now needs a boil.

Brr brr,
Brr brr,
The wind whistles past,
It’s quite chilled,
Though you won’t get billed,
But it won’t as much last.

Yippee wooh,
Yippee wooh,
That’s the nutty author,
This nursery rhyme,
Is to sing with a chime,
And not to worry- bother.

Thwack slap,
Thwack slap,
The hand hits the cheek,
It’s the editor,
Who found the rhyme too bitter,
So now the poet’s running meek.