Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Confession...



They had been so madly in love at that time; a wonderful couple. Their friends always complemented them to be made for each other. Then what had gone wrong? Had his love been too less for her? Tears rained down his cheeks as he picked up the gun, ready to punish himself for the mistakes he had made; for the pain he had made her go through; and for the happiness he had stolen from her. Through his blurred vision, he could see the picture of them-a smile on both their faces, a sparkle in their eyes; and he remembered the day, 13 years prior to this day- it had been the best day of his life.

It had been the longest night of his whole life. He had clutched the box throughout the night; all because it was precious for him. And it was for someone special; someone he loved from all his heart; someone who mattered more than anything for him. His sweet darling, Genelia.

He had shaved for a change, and as he got into his best clothes, he felt the pangs of anxiety and nervousness engulf him. The pessimist in him jumped on the opportunity and put all kinds of weird and terrifying thoughts into his mind. “What if she says no? What if she tells me that everything she told me about her love was false? What will I do?” The thoughts made him stop in his tracks. His blood froze and the earth stopped. “Come on Sam. She’s not telling no to you! Just get your courage back. Just keep moving or you’ll be late to pick her up…you don’t want her pissed today do you?” And with these thoughts, he rushed through the door, a man on a mission.

She greeted him in the usual way, a peck on his cheeks, and a tight hug right on the doorstep. “How’s my Sammy today morning? Did you sleep fine honey? I didn’t disturb you a lot, did I,” she asked him with a wink. He smiled. Words did not venture out of his mouth, and he held her hand and hauled her towards the waiting car.

Shocked by this action, Genelia resisted and asked,” What’s up Sam? Why are you acting like this?”

“Trust me sweetheart. Just come with me, don’t say no. Please,” he looked into her eyes and said.

“Sam, seriously you have gone mad! From when did you think that I would tell you no for anything? Idiot,” she scolded him.

Genelia sensed that something was afoot. Her Sammy never forced her for anything, nor did he act like this; but she went on with him. The whole journey he held her hand tightly and never left it, not even once. She acted like she did not notice a thing, but she felt something was going to take place, something that would change her life, and his’ as well.

They stopped all of a sudden, in the middle of nowhere. The early morning sun shone in the background, the only disturbance for miles around. He turned towards her and said, so soft and inaudibly,” I want to ask you something. No…I want to tell you something. Damn, I’d practiced this a million times, literally! And now, I can’t get a word out of my mouth! Why am I so scared of saying this to you?” Paying no heed to his grumbling, she put a hand on his cheek.
“Baby, just say it. You seriously are giving me jitters!”
“Necessities and wants co-exist in our present world. These include things as well as people. It does not depend on the use of these people or goods that we need or want them, it also depends on the love and respect we have for them,” he droned on.
“Sammy, I don’t mean no disrespect for you, but I don’t think you brought me here to give me a lecture about economics,” she teased.
“Jenny, just let me complete. I will surely open up myself to a question and answer round after I’m done with what I have to say. We both have been together for the past 4 years, and now I feel this must change. I have been put up with an offer in a multi-national company, and they are posting me in Paris. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about it before, but I didn’t want to spoil your mood; and I wasn’t prepared for this myself. I gave this a week’s thought and there seemed only one alternative. I’m sorry but there isn’t another way out. I just want you to remember that I have always loved you from all my heart. There isn’t a moment which goes by without me missing you.”

Genelia stared straight into his eyes. There wasn’t a bit of grief in his brown pupils. Her eyes brimmed with tears and her heart stopped. There was silence all around. It was as if the air had stopped gusting, the earth had stopped revolving and the sea had stopped surging.
“No Sam, no. Don’t leave me like this. I won’t be able to live without you. Please Sam…please,” she begged him.
He reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out the box. He leisurely opened it, not in a hurry at all. The jewel glinted in the sunlight, and Genelia looked up into his eyes.
“Jenny, will you accompany me to Paris? And will you be a permanent part of my life,” he asked her, a look of extreme terror in his eyes.
Without saying a single word, she burst into tears and leaped into his arms; never wanting to extract herself from his arms. She felt so safe and secure. They had been married a month after that day, with all pomp and celebration.

Remembering the day made him feel miserable. The flow of tears increased and he stood up.
“All I wanted was for you to be happy. I didn’t want to trouble you, nor did I want to hurt you. All I did was to love you.”
These were the last words he spoke as the crack filled the room, and everything ended. And there was just darkness. Darkness all around.

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