Blogger on The Newshour

Conversations, interviews and meetings are all that have been going around our nation. But has anyone thought of how an interviews with a blogger cum film and television lover would proceed? As the classic ‘Zabaan pe Rakhe Lagaam’ ad proceeds, I want to say to you.

“Aapne aisa interview nahi padha ab tak, aapko chahiye yeh vala blog post.”

And tada, here it comes. I’m just trying to make some silly jokes, which may or may not make any sense to you, but please try laughing as hard as you can, ‘cause laughter is the best medicine. The Zabaan pe Rakhe lagaam thing wasn’t for you, and you can post whatever you feel at the bottom after reading the whole post.

Interviewer: So today we have with us a new guest and he is a blogger. Can you introduce yourself Sir?

The guy keeps typing into the phone, looks around for a second, and then continues typing.

I: Sir, aap kaun hai yeh bataiye janta ko!

Blogger (with a glare): Naam- Karan. Blog ka naam- The K-Factor. Kaam- Blogging. Blog URL: karan-sampat.blogspot.in

I: What all do you write on your blog?

B: To know and understand the answer to that question, you shall have to understand who Karan is, and what he does.

I: I think that dialogue was copyrighted by one of the Prime Ministerial candidates some weeks ago.

B: Copyright nahi karenge hum yaar, abki baar Modi sarkaar.

I: Let’s not get into that. You have recently been criticizing Bollywood and what is going on quite a lot. What is your aim behind that? Are you being paid to do that?

B: My main aim behind it is to make people laugh. It’s like hum tumko itna hasayenge ke confuje ho jayoge, ke share karke comment kare, ya comment karke fir share kare.

I: I have heard something like that before too!

B: Are you accusing me of copying? Aata majhi satakli re!

I: Let me complete what I was saying Sir. My question s what do you do if someone copies from your post?

B: The feeling has 2 parts. The first one is quite desi, and the second is a bit free and out of the world. It goes like “Kuch bhi karneka tha, par mere post mein se nahi chaapna tha. Aali re aali, aata tujhi vaari aali.” After that, the realization hits that the copier is anonymous, and I don’t know anything about him, so it goes like. “I know your blog, I know where you write. I do not know your real details, but I will find you, and I will blog about you and your copying.”

I: So, how do you find blogging, and is there anything you would like to say to non-bloggers?

B: Mere paas blog hai, followers hai, pageviews hai, comments hai. Tumhare paas kya hai?

I: Did you all hear that! Well said, very well said. Your passion for blogging is seen clearly to the janta.

B: Let me tell you one more thing. Mein voh blogger hun jo apne pehle interview mein baithe baithe blog kar sakta hun, aur interviewer ko kuch pata bhi nahi chale.

I: Sir, I think now you’re lying to the nation!

B: Blog ki baat ho toh mein sach hi bolta hun aur sach kea lava kuch nahi bolta.

I: Breaking news is coming in! Karan did not lie about his post!

B: You visited my blog? I didn’t get a pageview though…

I: I commented as well on your post.

B: Glad you liked the post Sir, keep visiting..!

I: You have had a lot of ups and downs recently, yet your flow of posts hasn’t stopped. How do you answer that?

B: Zindagi ki unch nich se darr nahi lagta sahab, par page views aur comment nahi hone ka lagta hai.

I: Said from the heart. Thank you for coming on the show Sir. A last word to the nation, if you would.

B: To the nation? Jo tum soch bhi nahi sakte, uska mein pura blog post bana sakta hun.

I: One last thing, I got all your references, except the last one. Which movie was that from?

B: It’s from an upcoming movie which I Xposed recently. I shall send you the link if you like.

I: It was a pleasure having you here. Hope you had a good time with us, and I really hope you didn’t find any instances which you could use to make us a laughing stock.

B: To know more on those lines, keep visiting my blog Sir. And there’s nothing like bad publicity, is there?

I: Very true.

B: This was bad from the first word itself, but still it will do. Till I post again, wish you all a good weekend, good day, and keep reading The K-Factor, only at karan-sampat.blogspot.in