Good-Bye

The alarm clock shrilled and roused Swati from her slumber- deep and dense.

“So, Monday is back here. You had fun, eh? Just a day to rest, and the rest to toil…Thank you! Let’s go to work hon, no one’s going to listen to you, not here, not anywhere.”

Sighing heavily, Swati got up from her bed, which still invited her lovingly, and then shaking her head once, walked to the door to get the morning newspapers. As she bent down to pick up the stack of papers, she noticed something folded and inserted into the door knob. Pulling it out carefully, she noticed her name on it, shabbily scribbled in pencil. A glance at it gave her the knowledge that it was from Sanjay, her ex-boyfriend.

The couple had broken up after a long relationship of 4 years, and all because of some misunderstandings, and their anger and egos- that’s what always came in between, didn’t it? He had tried to depict his love to her various times, but she did not want him, not now! She was going through a wrenching turmoil, and now she didn’t want this to add to it. But he did not listen, he did not understand.

“Monday morning, and I get this. Excellent start to a new week. This is going to be good.”

Sitting on the table after fixing her first cup of coffee, Swati slowly opened the envelope. It contained a letter. Her curiosity took better of her, and she started reading from the start, but not before checking to length- 1 page.

To Swati,

Heya, good morning first of all. Talking, or say having a person read your work first thing in the morning needs to be awarded a lovely good morning, and anyways the shine of your face demands it as well. Well, how did you sleep? Hope you had closed all the windows and put on the mosquito repellant as well, and hope you had your blanket nearby. You’ll need it early morning, it’s a bit cold as I’m writing this thing here, and its getting colder as the clock ticks.

Now you’re annoyed again, that why the hell am I boring you with all this on a busy Monday morning. I’m sorry Swati, for now, and for it all. I apologize profusely to you for all the bad I did to you- the shouts, the fights, the annoying moments, and also for spoiling your time in the years we spent together. You could have enjoyed them a lot without me I reckon.

“Ha-ha, so you finally realized it dumb ass,” smirked Swati as she continued reading.

Well, I would like to accept all the names you have called me, and I am sure I deserve them, and I would love to pass them on to the next world I go to.

Now, I’ll get to the point. If you remember what date it is, then you will know the importance of this day in my life, and I hope it’s the same for you. I miss you. A year has gone by without you, and there is nothing I can do. You didn’t believe me when I said it was you which held me together, but I’d said it truthfully from the bottom of my heart, and now, I say it again.

When we parted ways, we decided that we would stay away from the other, but could we? No! There always came something which made us talk- made me reminisce for the past; made me beg for it to all come back- for you to come back. But you never did.

The next lines were a bit smudged and it seemed that Sanjay had been crying then. Fingering the marks softly, Swati read on.

I realized what I had to do just a couple of days ago. The talk with you made me comprehend it, and I realized now it time to go on, and go away. I’m sorry for the mistake you thought I made- loving you, caring for you, pursuing you. But I relished it, and I’m happy I did all of it, ‘cause it allowed me to live for 4 years with the best person on this planet- you. And I still love you.

It all started with a talk of ours. Don’t wonder which conversation I’m talking about. There were 2 of them, on consecutive days, and together, they made me reach here, to this decision. In the first one, you blindly accused me without the possession of even a bit of evidence. You shouted at me for telling some details about you to a friend of mine, which he wasn’t supposed to know. Well, I don’t tell anything about myself to people, then why would I tell people about you? Don’t I have any other work?

And the next day, you publicly posted about the same thing I wasn’t supposed to tell. Now how does that make sense? Is that how much you trust me? I’d use the word trusted, as by the time you read this, I’ll be far away. Along with the post, you messaged me happily about the news as well. I was happy, I am happy, but what about feelings, emotions? Don’t those matter? Even I feel bad, and I did that day, but I was happy, and I wanted to celebrate, with you, and when I wished for it, you told me to stay away and to mind my own business.

I love you, always will, and for me, you have been the best. You were always the most important person for me, and if I was there now, you would still be at the top of my list.

At this point, a tear crept down Swati’s cheek. Eyes blurred, she went on…

I have decided to go away, as you eternally wished. I am going far far away, and I will never return. But I will always look upon you, and love you. I will remember you- the moments we had, and the love we shared. Now it’s time for me to depart, and after this long lecture by me, I guess you’ll be bored enough as well as late for office, so you go on as well.

Wish you great luck in life, may you forever succeed, and may you obtain eternal happiness and love. I’ll use the word bye here, as its going to be the last time I’m talking with you. But you will always remain in my heart. Good bye sweetheart, I hope you don’t mind me calling that, but if you do, then do forgive me for that as well. Don’t try to contact me or search for me, it won’t be good for you. But if you ever remember me, then just look up to the sky and you will find me looking right at you.

The scrawl faded off into a scribble there, and it was all blotted, heavily. At the end of the page was a short note.

PS: Give a smile, your biggest problem in life is going away, and anyways, you look good while you smile.

Love you loads,

Forever yours,

Sanjay

As the letter ended, the barrier broke, and the tears fell freely down her cheeks. She restlessly pulled her cell phone to call him, to tell him what she really had wished for. That she loved him as much as he did for her, but she had been away for his own good. So that he would waste his time on her! But he didn’t understand, did he?

Fervently dialing his number, she got restless when he didn’t pick her call. Maybe he was still asleep, or maybe he was in office. Picking up the newspaper to distract herself, she glanced at the side column, and she froze. He was really gone, and he would never come back. There was only the darkness now, and the loneliness. They had found him in the late hours of yesterday night, after a call, made by himself, made them go there.

She slid to the floor in a heap, a bundle of tears, and sadness, and grief. She could not live in his absence, and she had been the cause of his departure. Weeping relentlessly, she knew she had only 1 way to choose from, and wiping her face clear, she composed herself and dialed the number.

The next day, the same column held the same news in the paper, just the victim was a female now.