Tuesday, July 22, 2014

False Figures


Yesterday, India won a test match at Lords after a long wait of 28 years, and the one who made it possible was Ishant Sharma who posted figures of 7-74 in the 4th innings and led the young Indian side to a victory.

The England side said in a post-match press conference that it is not their fault that they lost.

One of the unnamed players said, “The Indian side cheated and won the match. They dressed up Mitchell Johnson as Ishant Sharma and Mitch was the one who actually bowled. Ishant cannot bowl like that, owing to the fact that he is one of the professors of the Ashish Nehra and Ashoke Dinda Bowling Academy. He also got the Man of the Match award and bowled 6 maidens. We are sure it was an imposter.”

Another source close to the English side has hinted that this happened because of the visit of ICC Chairman, N. Srinivasan.

Srinivasan has been unavailable for comment, but an unnamed source in the Indian team has said, “The allegations on us are all wrong. We didn’t play Mitchell in our team, it was actually Jason Gillespie. It was easier to dress Jason up as Ishant, so we chose him. We are very happy of our win, and the credits all go to Srini Mama for setting all this up for us.”
PC: Troll Cricket
Young fans in India still can’t believe what just happened to their Lord Ishant, who usually used to make his own team tremble in fear.

“We are shocked, speechless. There is nothing I can say,” a student from Delhi has said.
India fans' expectations before the win
Meanwhile in Mumbai, a 17 year old was found claiming that the win came due to his black magic, and that it secretly helped Ishant to take wickets and bowl the short ball so effectively.
'Black Magician' Krishna in action
PS: This post is not meant to hurt the sentiments of Ishant Sharma fans, or the sentiments of anyone, and is just meant for entertainment.

PPS: A special thanks to Krishna for willingly participating in the creation of the last image.