Monday, July 21, 2014

Game Of Thrones

Game of Thrones. With Ty…no no, I won’t share spoilers. So, I began with the idea that I wanted a spoof, and then it came down to the fact that I couldn’t write 5 or 6 or how many ever novels and seasons will exist in the book and TV series. So, I will only be giving a brief introduction about the characters and maybe some new insights into the story. I am not going to forgive myself for this fabulous treacherous plan, but you all can, and should too.

The story is set with India depicted as Westeros. Yes, I am back to my old ways. The love story between politics and me continues heartily. During the elections, we saw that anyone and everyone could fall to a low in humanity with their horrendous statements, and that’s what happens in a Game of Thrones. They all want the Iron Throne, the power, the money, and they choose to ignore that winter is coming.

As is the setting, we have had a long standing war over Kashmir, and that is all that stands between us and Pakistan. In my version, that qualifies as The Wall, which is described as a 700-foot high barrier between the North, where the wildlings are building a strong army, and Westeros. Isn’t that so true? Our nation is holding talks for peace with Pakistan, and they continue breaking the cease fire and continue peppering our borders with bullets.

That is all a different matter, with nations coming in between, and it is quite a touchy subject, so I will get back to it later. For now, I’ll head on with my plan and I’ll try to entice your guts out of you by making you laugh. In Game of Thrones, we have seen nothing short of a million characters, all fighting and putting knives in the back, and trying to win.

One of the most seen figures, in memes more than the series (viewers will know what I mean), first on my list is Eddard of House Stark, The Lord of Winterfell, Warden of the North, and also the Hand of the King. His position in the Game of Thrones was destroyed quite early, and in our nation we have a similar personality, Arvind Kejriwal. As Ned preferred the fur coats and talked about caring for the people more than about the throne, Kejriwal exactly fits the bill with his scarf and talks about corruption. And yes the main dialogue used by both eternally, “Dharna is Coming!”

Next comes Ned’s friend, Robert Baratheon, the King of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros and the Head of House Baratheon. Doing nothing other than drinking and making merry, he is quite criticized for his ruling of the Seven Kingdoms, and he got the throne because there wasn’t anyone else who could do it. Add 2 and 2, and we get The Accidental Prime Minister! Manmohan Singh and Robert share their traits of being quiet rulers, and at the end of their terms, they have basically done nothing for the nation.

Moving to the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, Cersei Lannister, an intellectual and shrewd woman who would do anything to win, we all know who that is. The puller of strings, and the controller of a lot of things in the Game of Thrones, Sonia Gandhi. Her incestuous affair with power continues even after Manmohan has departed from office, and she now heads the Congress Party, or should we say the Gandhi party. One of her famous dialogues is: “In the Game of Thrones, you win or you die.” We all saw what happened to the Congress Party in these elections, they moved from winners to almost a non-existing entity.

Cersei’s oldest son, Joffrey, who succeeds his stepfather to the throne, likes to watch people suffer, and thinks that people will bow to him in fear. Misconceptions of our Shehzaada match this, as his repeated saying of women empowerment and youth is the future went in vain. As much as Joffrey likes seeing people in pain, Rahul Gandhi loves watching Pogo, or indirectly Chota Bheem. Age does have its issues though, and some responsibilities don’t come just like that.

The Lannisters are not all that exists in the Game of Thrones, but the Gandhi family does. Now I present to you Priyanka Gandhi as Sansa Stark. The poor girl who comes with her father, Ned Stark to King’s Landing, and ends up having a lot of disturbing things happen to her. Everyone says a lot to her, makes promises, calls her names, and she faces a lot of pain, but she can’t do anything about it. Doesn’t that strike us as Priyanka Gandhi trying haplessly to defend her husband and brother and family name and her party.

Leaving the best for last, I shall now talk about Tyrion Lannister. The cunning dwarf who manages to get his work done somehow, and would do anything for survival. I had initially thought of Narendra Modi, but with a last moment idea, Arnab Goswami runs away. Influential, smart and cunning, Arnab and Tyrion would side with anyone and everyone if there was any benefit seen. So now, will we see Arnab running for the Prime Ministerial post come the next elections (viewers will know why I say this).

I couldn’t fit Modi as a character, and Daenerys Targaryen remains as well. Well, they are the characters who have shown the world that they can work, even with all the problems they have faced, so I’ll just let them be, and I’ll go on.

Now moving on to Bollywood. I’ve been storing this desire for some time now, so it’s going to come out all together. There are the many houses in the Game of Thrones, and they all have their slogans. So what would the slogans be if Game of Thrones was made in India?

In my opinion, the slogans would range from ‘Sardi aa rahi hai’ (Stark) to ‘khoon pasina’ (Targaryen) to ‘Parivaar, kaam, sammaan’ (Tully) to ‘hamari hai aag’ (Baratheon). The Lannisters can’t be forgotten, so here is their slogan: ‘Sunlo humri awaaz ko!’

When I was reading about all the slogans to manage writing this, I came up with one of the stupidest but the best slogans. “We do not sow” of the Greyjoys. We saw Theon and his family almost on the brink of being killed, but then that is quite evident from their slogan. As is said, “As you sow, so shall you reap”. The Greyjoy’s don’t sow at all, then how will the Old Gods and the new provide them with results? :P

Game of Thrones has characters who are called names, so what would those be if India made its own Game of Thrones?

Tyrion ‘Imp’ Lannister- Chote Nawab
Daenerys Targaryen ‘Mother of Dragons’- Chipkali ki amma
‘Kingslayer’ Jaime Lannister- Deshdrohi Darinda
Jon Snow- Najayaz bitwa bana sipahi
‘The Mountain’ Gregor Clegane- Pahaad
Hand of the King- Raja ka haath
Petyr Baelish ‘Littlefinger’- Choti ungli
‘The Onion Knight’ Ser Devos- Sipahi kando ka
‘Red Lady’ Melisandre- Laal daayan
‘The Hound’ Sandor Clegane- Wafaadaar kutta

“In the name of The K-Factor, of House Blogs, the first of his Name, King of Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm, I do sentence you to laugh and then comment at the bottom of the page.”

PS: This post has just been written for the sake of entertainment and is not meant to harm or hurt anyone or their sentiments. On the other hands, to my country neighbors, friends, readers, and fellow humans, I say that we must all unite before the darkness of crime consumes us all. “The night is dark and full of terrors.” We face the daily problems of inflation and corruption, but scarcity is still to appear as a strong enemy. We must all stand as one, and address these issues, which we can relate to as the white walkers. We must save our world, or we shall end up the way George Martin wanted his book to end.


  1. This is something Karan! Sardi aa rahi hai and the mother of dragons :P
    By god, the post is holy mother of god :P

  2. I want to read this book. At least the first in the series. I'll do that soon :)