Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Bite-Size

Sete Lagoan:

Luis Suarez has reportedly signed an advertising campaign with a multinational company which makes FMCG products. This move has been catalyzed by the incident which took place during the second half of the Italy vs Uruguay group game in the FIFA World Cup. Uruguay later went on to win the game and the Azzurri were knocked out of the competition.

Luis Suarez allegedly bit Italian defender Giorgio Chellini during the second, but escaped without even a card. There has been a massive uproar on platforms like Twitter, and FIFA is said to be looking into the matter. There are some reports which say that Suarez should be banned for a year in order to tackle his anger issues.
 
Credits: usmagazine.com
On the other hand, the unnamed corporation has capitalized on this issue and has offered the Uruguayan forward an advertising deal which shall make him the most valued sports player in the world. Suarez was unavailable for comment due to a practice biting session.

The Uruguayan coach has denied commenting on the incident but has said that Suarez is one of the best players in the world and deserves credit for his attacking game. Another member of the Uruguayan management has said that this is a new offensive defensive strategy to undermine the opposite defense.

The company spokesperson told us in a special interview that Suarez will be modeling for their dental and hair products.

“Suarez was seen holding his teeth after the biting incident, and the world has seen that he has teeth and gum problems. Suarez will display this pain on every television screen and later our toothpaste shall make the pain in his teeth vanish. (This will also be seen when he next bites a player and dedicates it to our toothpaste on the football field.)

“He will also lead our shampoo campaign in which he will be head butting a referee, as he did when he was 16. His hairstyle hadn’t changed even after that incident and there wasn’t a single dot of dandruff or fallen hair on the referee’s uniform. This will be credited to our shampoo and hair gel.”

Meanwhile, Ashish Nehra has been spotted crying in his house. There is speculation that this is because he has been unable to put his larger-than-Suarez front teeth to proper use like the Uruguayan attacker.

PS: This post is just for entertainment purposes and is not supposed to harm any religious, political, Liverpool FC or Uruguayan sentiments.

4 comments:

  1. Hehehehe... Sahi post he..!!
    Players get very few chances to play in world cup during their career n he lost his chance now...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Sir. Yes he did lose his chance...

      Delete